The most important relationship in our lives is with our Creator, and through this will come our happiness or unhappiness, dependant upon how much time we give to our Loving God and Saviour. This is why it is essential for family unity that God is the Head of your home and that family life is based around a prayerful relationship with God and obedience to the Church as we are nurtured in the Sacraments and the Word of God.
This can only be attained through the Eucharist that strengthens us and it is prayer that gains for us the peace that Christ promised, it can come through no other way than this. Gaining this inner peace cannot come from the television nor the computer or any other entertainment, for we cannot have relationship with inanimate objects.
If parents are lacking in a prayer life, and fail to embrace God in a loving relationship, then the children will also follow the lead set by their Fathers and Mothers, for the health of the family unit rests upon the parents. It is also not enough to fulfil your duty by attending Mass as if that were sufficient in and of itself, God does not want 'rituals' from us, He desires we love Him for who He is and not from what we can gain. This is relationship, and it is when we are in relationship with God that we find the strength to overcome obstacles in our path and to be able to nurture one another within the Sacrament of marriage.
In order for both partners to do this we need to know and understand God's Will which is different from our own, for though God does not remove all strife from us, still He will strengthen both spouses to overcome all obstacle, which may be threatening their family unity. When both spouses neglect God, they place their marriage in danger and also their children’s welfare is in jeopardy as all become hostages to circumstances.
From the beginning of their marriage both husband and wife need to nurture and validate one another by placing God as their focus and to understand that their happiness together is dependant upon the quality and quantity of their prayer life as a family. For God cannot help the unwilling and He will not intrude where He is not wanted, for God is a gentle Lover of the soul and not a demanding one! But, though God does not demand we love Him, still He does Command us to love Him before all others. Demanding something from someone is enforcing your will upon the other in order to gain something for oneself, usually at the cost of another. Whereas a Command is so that God may give us what we need once we have surrendered ourselves to His Love, in order for Him to give of Himself to His children. God cannot pour out His Love or His Grace into hearts that reject His invitation to relationship, so even though families may attend Mass from a sense of duty, the true benefits of Communion with our Lord is lost.
So in order for husbands and wives to be supportive of one another and also respectful of each others needs, both couples must balance their life around prayer as essential to their well being, for prayer is the foundation that will hold the marriage together when spouses face internal difficulties and hardship. All marriages must be worked at, none happen by magic, but the vital component to a happy and fulfilled marriage is when the couple have placed God as its cornerstone.
When we look to the Scriptures, we find that the God blessed those who lived to do His Will and were obedient to Him. The story of Saints Joachim and Anne bear witness to this, as they prayed for a child to fulfil their happiness and God granted their request with not just any child, but, one who would bear the Son of God, their most holy daughter, Mary. Both Joachim and Anne set the example for all parents to follow, as they gave Glory to God in Heaven, and taught Mary the Faith and also instilled in her a love of prayer, work and thanksgiving.
The marriage of Joseph and Mary continued this pattern of prayer, living their Faith and placing God at the centre of their lives as they went about their daily tasks. And our Heavenly Father also shows how much He esteems marriage by sending Angels to Joseph to warn him of impending danger this was done in order to validate Joseph as head of the home and God as protector of the Holy couple because they were obedient to God's Will. But both Joseph and Mary loved God not in a ritualistic sense but from an outpouring of their hearts which displayed itself in ritual symbolism as manifestations of the awe and love they had for God. Joseph and Mary were not fulfilling a duty but displaying acts of love through the religious observances, of their time.
We need to follow these Holy examples of marriage as God intended marriage to be and not be waylaid by how society believes marriage should be, which substitutes a relationship with God through prayer by means of 'self empowerment' as both husband and wife are seduced into living for themselves rather than in self giving. We can also look to another Saint, Anna Maria Taigi who though she lived a hectic life with the upbringing of her 7 children, a demanding husband and at the same time nursing her ill mother, still made sure that God was the central focus of her family while not neglecting her duties as wife and mother. This Holy Saint taught her children that in order to live happy and fulfilled lives they must also place God to the forefront of their own lives, she did this by having family prayer times and spiritual reading which set the pattern for her marriage. As her husband testified in these words, "It often happened that on my return home I found the house full of people. At once she would leave anyone who was there - a great lady, maybe, or a prelate - and would hasten to wait on me affectionately and attentively. One could see that she did it with all her heart." Anna Maria by this action validated her husbands position whilst never negating God's, and through this course maintained her own inner peace and tranquility in a hectic household.
It is through these examples that parents of today need to learn and follow as more and more the family unit comes under attack. There are lessons for all as husbands need to learn to appreciate their wives and wives need to respect and honour their husbands position as head of their home. And both Spouses need to nurture and provide the best possible care for their children, by listening to them, encouraging them, and also instilling in them a love of God through prayer, Scripture and spiritual reading. But also what is truly essential is to attend Mass as an ongoing expression of their love for God in sincere Worship that spills forth from their love of this Awesome God, rather than 'going through the motions'.
For in all times children look to their parents to set the pattern and if both Father and Mother attend Mass simply as a 'ritual or duty' the children will also fail to gain the one thing they need in a harsh world, a fulfilling relationship with their Heavenly Father upon which their future happiness rests.
Both Spouses need to foster their love of God by symbolic but sincere practices within their home by creating a 'sacred corner' in their home, where Holy water, a candle, Bible, a Crucifix and other religious symbols need to be placed to remind oneself that they are addressing the Almighty as they gather around for family prayer time.
For in the old saying....'A family that prays together stays together’ and with all the chaos surrounding our world with its stresses and discords many families are in desperate need of the power of family prayer.
To end in the words of St. John Vianney, "I turn to you, dear parents, and implore you to imitate the Holy Family of Nazareth."
Peace of Christ to ALL
Copyright © 2006 Marie Smith. All rights reserved.
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