When we look outside of our own families and see the disintegration which has become society, we can shake our heads and wonder how we got here. Where children beat, bully or kill those they dislike, where drugs and rave parties are being encouraged and where children are more comfortable speaking profanities than converse or debate their idea's peacefully, how did we get here? We have reached this stage because we have allowed it to happen.
We are an over indulgent generation, who have spoilt our children till they become the adults parents deserve! Sound harsh? By following the maxims of the experts this generation of children are now paying the price, as parents allowed the therapists, psychiatrists and psychologists to dictate to them how they should raise their child. It is time to claim your own children and raise them to God's standard rather than the ideology of the 'feel good' therapists.
In an age where the word discipline has acquired a bad reputation as parents allow their children free reign to express themselves which is usually shown by throwing tantrums over what they cannot have. Where is the psychologist when your child is on the floor of your local supermarket throwing a good old fashioned temper tantrum?
It is time for parents to stop reading the latest new age best seller on how to improve your family and rely instead on their common sense. When a parent shows a child that with them there no boundaries is it any wonder that the child will grow wayward and also fall into a bad lifestyle? There is nothing worse than seeing an over-indulged, spoilt and pampered child behaving badly as the parents look on bewildered and embarrassed by their little 'darlings'. As St. Teresa of Avila once wrote, "Were I to give parents counsel, I would warn them to be well advised, as to what persons are the companions of their children. I profited nothing by the virtue of my sister. But, I retained all the bad example, given me by another family member, who had haunted(visited) our house." Look closely at your children's companions and do not allow the seed of corruption to enter your family through a 'side door'.
Let us look within Scripture to learn true and sincere wisdom, as it says in the Book of Proverbs,"The rod of correction gives wisdom, but a boy left to his whims disgraces his mother." Does it look like God is against chastising your errant child? Will God turn His back on you if you correctly discipline your badly behaved child? No! Then why the guilt over disciplining your offspring when they are being naughty? A few verses down and we read this, "Correct your son, and he will bring you comfort, and give delight to your soul." Surely this is advocating to use wise and correct forms of disciplining your child, so that they may grow into loving, compassionate and caring individuals, who respect you as their parents and are obedient to God's Will, by following the parents example.
This is not to say that for every mistake a child should be beaten but nor should the child's action be condoned. It is a fine line for many parents to tread for children have an inherent sense of justice and become irate if their punishment is not merited. Parents need to practice wisdom, compassion and proper judgment when it comes to chastising their children, when they have behaved badly. Be aware also that parents need to discipline themselves as well, for to hit out at your child for a small misdemeanor will cause great harm especially if the motivating force within the parent is irritability or simply the parent having a bad day.
When it comes to disciplining your child allow your own common sense and inherent knowledge of your child to guide you. Not every child will respond to spankings, there are other ways of chastising your child that does not have to involve physical smacks. There is 'time out' or depriving your child of the luxuries they love such as dessert, not allowing them to watch their favourite TV programs or missing out on an outing. What is essential is that parents MUST follow through with their threatened measure of discipline, or they will incur their children's contempt!
Consistency is the key to raising and administering discipline to your children in a fair and justifiable manner, your child will not be scarred for life if you chastise them for bad behavior, so long as the child understands why it is being disciplined.
One of the biggest mistakes that many parents make is in trying to become their child's 'best friend'. This is a distortion of the parental relationship which will lead to dysfunction as it is the parent who must set limits to the child's demands, how can they if they are aiming to 'please' their child at all costs? A child is also not above manipulating their parents feelings, for nearly every child will push the boundaries to see how far they can go before they are confronted with the word no. A parent should also expect to hear complaints and patiently endure the 'I hate you' words as their child is vexed at not getting their own way.
Being a parent is not an easy ride it is emotionally exhausting but also emotionally fulfilling as they watch their child grow into well adjusted adulthood. Parenthood is a vocation for life, there is no retirement from being the parent but the rewards are great if your child is raised correctly. In this secular society it is not a good thing to leave the teaching of what is right and wrong to the educational authorities when it comes to your children. Especially at a time where sin is being promoted as a 'lifestyle choice' and the 'anything goes if it feels good' philosophy gains ground.
It is good to remember that your child is a gift from God, therefore raise your child to be obedient to God's Commandments and make sure that you yourself are obedient to God's Commandments, lest your child witness your own hypocrisy. As this quote says, "Live in such a way that those who know you but don’t know God will come to know God because they know you." This is also true concerning your children they learn their faith from the parents. Also be mindful of the Catholic Churches Teachings and to be obedient to them as they are and not your own private version of what you think it should be. In all things obedience is the key, without obedience you have waywardness and lawlessness. As Scripture teaches us, "Children, obey your parents (in the Lord), for this is right. "Honor your father and mother." This is the first commandment with a promise, "that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on earth." Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord." Who do you listen too the latest 'feel good' book or the Word of God?
In the end teach your children well, for you are their example, the key to their happiness is in your hands.
Peace of Christ to you ALL
Copyright © 2006 Marie Smith. All rights reserved.
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