When we journey into the realm of true suffering we enter a barren landscape devoid of all human consolation, for the soul that is truly in pain, the spirit is vanquished the eyes grow dim and the heart is rent asunder at its abandonment.
Words of advice fall onto the tender soul like shards of glass tearing it to pieces thereby increasing its pain ten fold, with inept attempts to somehow alleviate the agony that is within the suffering person, words cannot convey what another has not yet felt, the feeling of abandonment by its Beloved.
As the body writhes with agony, and the pain overwhelms the person, time loses all meaning as the soul faces its own passion, alone. During these moments of agony, all feelings of consolation has fled and the soul is left to face itself, nothing can express the intense pain of this moment, no words can reach those who's suffering is beyond man's help. The ring of comforting words fall hollow into a soul laid bare in the rawness of its own weakness, it's strength spent and like a vulnerable child the eyes are more eloquent than words, as it's inner desperation gasps for that which it cannot find, relief...relief...relief!
The suffering soul sighs long into that black darkness called night, where minutes seem like hours and inner desperation fills the heart as loneliness grips the suffering soul and lays it's own incompleteness bare. There is nowhere to hide, no where to find solace as it's very being is exposed to the searing ray of its own powerlessness. The long dark night becomes its enemy as the noise stills and all becomes quiet, yet there is no peace for the soul that cries into the night in the depths of their pain, 'God, God where are You?' 'Why have you left me to face only me?' The cries then reach a crescendo as the night becomes its accuser, 'there is no God'....'you have believed a lie'..'you are alone, there is no one and nothing only emptiness' and then in the anguish of the heart of the suffering soul it screams within, 'My God my God why have You abandoned me'?
Then comes the understanding and the meaning as the soul unifies itself to the sorrowful One the One who knows suffering the One who too cried that same echo into eternity the One who understands your pain....the One who reaches out for you...Christ Crucified! Yet the pain remains but it is different, why?
Through yet another long anguished night the suffering soul reaches out for the eternal unknowing....grasping and clutching that which is its only comfort, Christ Crucified! Only in Him does suffering find its meaning and only in Him does suffering become ennobled and also only in Him does suffering gain its dignity, and only in Him can one endure....the unendurable.
In the opening of day we are brave to those who love us, we can cope through the day, we can put on brave smiles, shrug off compliments at our 'show' of inner strength, but the sufferer knows the velvet blackness of night awaits it, but that terror is hidden from those who do not understand, for those who believe that we are at least 'gaining some rest for our weary bodies' these loving hearts know little of the terror of the looming and all encompassing....dark night. Slowly another day comes to its end as the sun disappears and the shadows lengthen, the skies darken and the suffering soul trembles within at the prospect of it's enemy...the long cruel dark of night....
The sufferer does not need to know the theology behind suffering, it needs no lengthy tomes of the meaning of suffering. Do we fill a child's head with theological discourses?Of course not! Then do not patronise the sufferer with long discourses on the meaning of suffering, the soul is LIVING it. Say nothing! Pray much!
When you pray for a soul that suffers make sure you mean it, pray unceasingly for this soul, pray till all words are spent, pray till you are tired of praying, pray pray pray....then you will find how empty your own soul is for the effort of prayer becomes too much for the healthy person. I mean not the 10 minute Rosary said at speed at the end of a long day, nor the hour spent in prayer...I speak about unceasing prayer for that one suffering individual. If you feel your five minute prayer is sufficient and feel comforted that you have done your bit, then spend nights with the sick, lonely and orphaned at hospitals, night after night after night...how long before resentment would fill the place of self satisfaction at your 'prayerfulness'? As Dorothy Day once wisely wrote when referring to St. Therese of Lisieux, "One needs to have gone through these small martyrdoms to understand them." The suffering soul can teach you all about martyrdom, they have no need of your empty words but of your listening heart.
When you are in the company of a person who's suffering is intense be reminded of Christ's own Passion, and remember if you had stood beneath the Cross at Calvary would you have advised our Lord to 'keep strong' or to 'have more Faith'? Or would your words dry up as your eyes overflow to be witness to such a suffering?
Once again as St. Therese wrote, "Let us suffer if needs be, with bitterness." This wonderful Saint understood the meanness of suffering and the toll it takes on the soul when they find themselves in the company of those who understand it not!
When in the company of the suffering soul, keep your wisdom to yourself and instead seek out their power in the midst of their powerlessness and seek their prayers for yourself and others....for when you are in the company of suffering you are in the company of Christ Himself!
Peace of Christ to you ALL
Copyright © 2006 Marie Smith. All rights reserved.
roman catholic
Catholic Spirituality
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