Spirituality and Mysticism: Leadership In The Home

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Leadership In The Home

Spirituality

In today's society men can often feel under attack as the role of man and woman Created as God wished it to be becomes dysfunctional and many men find themselves under attack by simply being who they are.

Many men can feel redundant as science attempts to duplicate human life through the bottom of a test tube. They are also under attack by the feminist lobby who wish to emasculate man to suit their own distorted agenda, which includes the feminists self-deification, where they presume to make themselves Creator.

God Created both man and woman to compliment one another it is people who turn this wondrous Gift of each other into a competition, with devastating consequences for all.

It is not only women who feel unappreciated and unloved, men also feel these same emotions when their efforts are not validated or are taken for granted. As society tries to change Christian values through various avenues, the family unit comes under more threat and men are subjected to a barrage of temptations and frustrations. As Saint Augustine wrote, "In marriage, however, let the blessings of marriage be loved: offspring, fidelity, and the sacramental bond. Offspring, not so much because it may be born, but because it can be reborn; for it is born to punishment unless it be reborn to life. Fidelity, but not such as even the unbelievers have among themselves, ardent as they are for the flesh. . . .. The sacramental bond, which they lose neither through separation nor through adultery, this the spouses should guard chastely and harmoniously"

Often times the wife does not understand the enormous load that the husband carries as he valiantly tries to provide the best for his family and to give the best of himself to his beloved wife. Some of this misunderstanding and tension is caused by the wife's lack of knowledge in understanding the stresses and strains of the husbands daily work life.

It is often the case that many men work at jobs they do not like and endure the frustration of their work never being appreciated, if anything some bosses treat their workers as little more than commodities to be tossed aside and replaced by a 'newer' version. An employer is not very interested in the spiritual wellbeing of the man he has employed, therefore it is up to the wife to provide a safe haven for her tired and worn out husband.

The heavy burden that the man carries needs to be understood, for even if the husband is working at a job he loathes there is no way out for him as he is responsible for the physical wellbeing of his family as the provider. Many men can feel trapped when they are forced to continue working at places where they are ridiculed and humiliated by their bosses on a daily basis. Though he may not like his place of employment the husband must stay at his workplace irrespective of his feelings and his needs, he has very little choice in the matter. This can lead to great frustration and aggravation as the man feels trapped by his circumstances.

This is not to say that he does not love his family the very fact that he stays at his job proves his love, and a selfless love at that as the husband places his wife and his children over and above his own needs and wants. The husband and father cannot simply quit if he hates his job, who then would feed his family?

The working man most especially as middle age creeps up and redundancies become common place, faces even more stresses as he realizes that he and his family may be one pay check away from losing their home. All this places enormous strain on his own feelings of adequacy, in a dog eat dog world that the husband confronts each day.

This is not to say that he would wish his family gone, the husband and father endures all this for love of his family and would not wish it any other way. This is the act of the most selfless love a man can give to a woman and his children.

It is because the man of the home faces these enormous responsibilities that the wife must and should remain his helpmate and also his port in the storms of life, a resting place for his weary body and soul.

The husband must also be the leader when it comes to worshipping at home and at Church, it is not a good example for the children if the husband negates this high calling. This also requires the help and understanding of the wife to encourage and uphold her husbands position and role within their family unit. As the then Cardinal Ratzinger wrote, "Men and women were created to be jointly the guarantee of the future of the humanity - not only a physical guarantee, but also a moral one." When fathers stop attending Church, it begins the downward spiral of the spiritual health of the family as a whole. It is imperative that the husband and father show leadership in matters of worship.

When the husband provides the security that the family needs this is one of the ways he expresses his love for his family to put their needs above his own. Another more expressive way is to honour his wife through a mutual bond of love and trust as they become one as man and wife, joined together in both body and spirit.

Both Spouses need to understand that their total happiness lay not in only monetary security but also a spiritual security as both couples work at their marriage and validate each others longings and needs through mutual respect and love of each others uniqueness which completes them as a whole.

No marriage is absolutely perfect outside of the Holy Family, all relationships need work, for God does not measure what a man can monetarily provide for his family but what he teaches his family about love, honour, integrity and a faithfulness to the Tenets of the Churches Teachings. Once again the then Cardinal Ratzinger said, "Find the Lord, find the saints of the times, but also find the not canonized, simple persons who are really in the heart of the Church." This simple quote demonstrates for us that the family as a whole is integral to the health of the Body of the Church, and to make God the focus of the family.

In the end a families home should be a little Heaven and not a living hell.